![]() "Smash the beetles! Smash them! Kun kun kun!" I wasn't deterred. "Orson, why are you smashing all those beetles?" He gave me an answer. Why was he smashing all those beetles? What did he get out of it? First thing I did was ask him. Laughing at another person's misery was the only thing that made me feel like everyone else. You'd think being tormented from birth would give you some affinity for the afflicted. Used to sit all day in the garden, crushing beetles with a rock. Wet nurse dropped him on his head, left him simple. Good luck today.ĭo you remember cousin Orson? Orson Lannister? So what do you think? Why did he do it? What's it all about?Jaime Lannister: I don't know. Until that mule kicked him in the chest and killed him. I tried to stop Orson once.Jaime Lannister: He was twice your size.Tyrion Lannister: He just pushed me aside with a "kun", kept on smashing. I woke up, crying, weeping for their shattered little bodies. How many countless living, crawling things smashed, dried out, and returned to the dirt? In my dreams, I found myself standing on a beach made of beetle husks stretching as far as the eye can see. Piles and piles of them, years and years of them. Who gives a dusty f*** about a bunch of beetles?Tyrion Lannister: I know, I know, but still it filled me with dread. And I had to know because it was horrible, that all these beetles would be dying for no reason.Jaime Lannister: Every day around the world, men, women, and children are murdered by the score. And I still couldn't figure out why he was doing it. Did I hear dragon wings? No, I heard "kun kun kun". I read the histories of Targaryen conquests. Father droned on about the family legacy and I thought about Orson's beetles. And when I wasn't watching him, I was thinking about him. I would eat my lunch in the garden, chewing my mutton to the music of "kun kun kun". I began spending inordinate amounts of time watching him. And I became possessed with knowing what they were. His face was like the page of a book written in a language I didn't understand, but he wasn't mindless, he had his reasons. And as I watched, I became more and more sure of it: there was something happening there. I may not have been able to speak with Orson, but I could observe him, watch him, the way men watch animals to come to a deeper understanding of their behavior. In any case, I found nothing that illuminated the nature of Orson's affliction or the reason behind his relentless beetles slaughter. Tried to touch me once.Tyrion Lannister: Turns out far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. So I went to Maester Valeric's library.Jaime Lannister: Valeric. I was the smartest person I knew, certainly I had the wherewithal to unravel the mysteries that lay at the heart of a moron. But I stayed with Orson.Jaime Lannister: Why?Tyrion Lannister: I was curious. You drifted away.Jaime Lannister: I had other interests.Tyrion Lannister: Yes. Laughing at another person's misery was the only thing that made me feel like everyone else.Jaime Lannister: Joke wore thin, though.Tyrion Lannister: For you. You'd think being tormented from birth would give you some affinity for the afflicted.Tyrion Lannister: On the contrary. Used to sit all day in the garden, crushing beetles with a rock.Tyrion and Jaime: Kun, kun, kun!Tyrion Lannister: Nothing made him happier.Jaime Lannister: Nothing made you happier. Wet nurse dropped him on his head, left him simple.Tyrion Lannister: Simple. Tyrion Lannister: Do you remember cousin Orson? Orson Lannister?Jaime Lannister: Of course.
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